DNA DNA 32andme (Parody of Jingle Bells)

Merry Christmas to my fellow searchers…this is sung to the tune of Jingle Bells! Inspiration for those searching!! Merry Christmas! – Kathleen Keane


​DNA DNA 32andme (Parody of Jingle Bells)
Dashing through the snow
In a beat up Chevrolet
To UPS I go
Clutching DNA
I hope the lid stays tight
Let’s pray the glass don’t break
I dropped the box off postage-paid
And peeled out for Pete’s sake! ohhhhhhhhhh
DNA DNA, I need answers now
Is my dad my bio dad?
Please tell me when and how
DNA DNA, I can hardly wait
I’ve got pens and I got pads for
Matching up the dates
It’s been six long weeks
The time has finally come
I match ghouls and geeks
Too late to turn and run 
Dear  Santa I was wrong
To think I was alone
They’re filling up my gmail  box
They’re blowing up my  phone
Ohhhhhhhhh
DNA DNA, Lord what have I done?
Sister Cleo is my aunt
And  Irish? I have none
DNA DNA, how could this be true?
I’m Scottish, Finnish, Mandarin
And half Sephardic Jew
The journey is so wild
And not for just a few
I’m not an only child
I’m one of 32!
Oh no — I am not sad
Yes, DNA is great!
Guess 32 is not so bad…
It could be 38!!
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh

Author
Kathleen Keane
Kathleen Keane is a southern LDS writer and poet whose writing ranges from humor to personal interest and nonfiction pieces. She has worked in the search and reunion field for decades and as an editor for tech stock analysts. She was a newspaper columnist on genetic genealogy and her thesis was on DNA editing with CRISPR tech. With a Gypsy heart and Bellarussian soul, she currently resides south of Chicago. She sees writing as a symphony with readers playing a role in creating the finished work. Her writers affectionately refer to her as “Master Editor of the Universe.” She can be reached at [email protected]